Fathers of the Akatsuki
by insomniac.kisses
Summary: The Akatsuki members find and raise two girls from birth... All hell will break loose.... Warnings: there is no plot whatsoever in this, it also does not follow the timeline of naruto. this was for my own weird pleasure...
1. Adoption

**Insomniac Kisses- (bows) I'm VERY sorry to all my readers who've been waiting for the 3rd chapter in Patience... I'm stuck in a writers block right now so it may be a while till it's updated once again. But I've writtin this to give you guys something to read... it's been an idea that's been lingering in my head for some while... so I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Itachi Uchiha and Kisame were walking back from their mission to the Akatsuki hideout in the River Country. Itachi had joined the Akatsuki 3 years ago, making him 15 years old. And Kisame was... well, actually, no one really knew. He was half shark and half human. What his parents looked like, I really don't want to know... Itachi was as normal as 'normal' got in the Akatsuki...

The duo were resting near the bank of a river, Itachi leaning against a tree with his eyes closed and Kisame attempting on catching a fish. A few moments passed when a brown shape caught the shark's eye. Looking up stream, a small sized basket floated on the top of the water, being carried downstream to where Kisame was. Keeping his eyes on it as it came closer, he grabbed it once it was within reach. It was light... only about 15 pounds.

He then heard something from the inside. Swiftly he walked to the bank and motioned the Uchiha over. Itachi stood up and gracefully strode over to Kisame. "Yes?"

"Look..."

Itachi looked down at the basket. "Open it."

Kisame looked at the basket, then to Itachi, then back to the basket. Balancing the woven basket on his left arm, he lifted the straw lid, shining light on two sleeping figures.

"Babies?" Kisame was baffled. The heck was this? Two babes were in a basket floating down stream!

One baby had a red fuzz among it's crown of its head while the other had a light brown. Both were wrapped in brown cloth up to their chins. The red-head had slightly pale skin and on its right wrist sat the yin part of the yin yang charm. It was on a thick gold chain. The brunette had fairer skin and on its left wrist sat the yang charm upon a thick gold chain.

The one with red hair frowned and opened it's eyes revealing deep emerald eyes. Its chin trembled as a sob escaped its lips.

"Oh no..." Kisame started wide eyed. The baby better not start crying!

A loud wail left the child's mouth and the brunette awoke at it's (assumed) sibling's cries. Then, the other began to cry.

Itachi let out a small sigh. Not wanting to hear the children wailing the whole time, he reached to the brunette and brought it into his arms. Slowly, the baby stopped crying and looked wide-eyed at the boy. Big chocolate eyes stared into vibrant red. Then, the baby lifted its chubby right hand and stuck it's thumb into its mouth, becoming sleepy once again.

Meanwhile, Kisame did not know what to do with the wailing child of doom. So, mimicking Itachi, he sat the basket down and picked up the child. Holding it like Itachi, he rocked the child back and forth. The child got quieter but then had the hiccups from crying.

"Put it's head on your shoulder and gently pat it's back." Itachi instructed seeing the confused fish.

Kisame did as commanded and the child let out a burp and then started cooing. It's cubby hand reached up and gripped a handful of blue hair.

The shark winced and let out a small growl. Children. Sheesh...

The babe in Itachi's care was fast asleep, still sucking it's thumb. Itachi made sure that the baby was sound asleep until he spoke. "We should keep going now. We're almost there."

Kisame nodded, the baby still messing up his hair. "Are we keeping them?" Wow.. He makes it sound as if children are pets...

Itachi just shrugged and began to walk with Kisame following.

"What should we name them?"

"Are they a boy or a girl?"

That hit Kisame hard. They never found out the babe's gender yet. Well, he sure wasn't going to do that. "Dunno."

The rest of the walk was a silent one besides the two babes cooing at random moments.

* * *

"Ahhh! Itachi-san! Kisame-san! You're back, un!" (Guess who...) Deidara happily exclaimed as the two S-ranked Criminals walked through the door- well, the cave.. Er.. Opening... Kisame only acknowledged with a grunt and Itachi with nothing.

"Un? Is that a baby, un?" Deidara peeked at the blanket in Kisame's arms.

"Yeah."

This caught the attention of Hidan who was in the living room with Diedara. "A child?" Hidan questioned. "What for?"

"We found them, and brought them back." Kisame answered simply.

The child that Itachi held began to stir and Deidara was right by Itachi in a mili-second. Deidara's baby blue eyes met with the babe's soft chocolate ones.

"So Kawaii! Un!" Deidara squealed happily. "Can I hold it Itachi-san!? Please, un!" Itachi just handed over the child to Deidara and walked out of the room. Deidara gently rubbed the child's cheek and it let out a small coo. "AWWWWWWWWWW, UN!" Both Kisame and Hidan looked at Deidara strangely.

Seeing as Kisame was going to give the child to him, Hidan mumbled an excuse- it sounded like "I need to go pray" - and was out of the room faster than you could say, "Religion" Kisame sighed and looked down at the sleeping child. He then began to walk to his room and saw Sasori walking towards him, probably to get Deidara or to argue with him.

And without a word, Kisame handed the child to the puppet master and continued to his room.

Sasori blinked once he knew Kisame was gone. Looking down he saw a baby. What was Kisame doing with a child? Sasori shook his head and continued on his way to the so-called living room. When he was near the living room he could hear Deidara's happy cheers. Walking into the room he saw Deidara cuddling a child as well. Did he miss something here?

He looked down to see two emerald jewels stare back at him. The child grinned a toothless smile and raised both arms, hands facing Sasori. Sasori unsure, lifted the child higher, letting it rest it's head upon his shoulder. The child let out a happy coo and reached for Sasori's red hair.

"Sasori-danna! Aren't the babes adorable, un!?!?" Deidara was pulling the brunettes thumb out of its mouth and when he let go, the baby would bring it back up to its lips and began to suck on it, and then Deidara would pull it away and the pattern continued.

Sasori just nodded and laid the child down on the couch. Missing the warmth of a person, the child began to sob. Tears bubbled up on the sides of the child's eyes and its mouth let a loud cry, startling everyone in the room.

"Sasori-dannaaaaa! You made red-chibi cry, Un!!" Deidara handed the brown-haired baby to Sasori as Deidara dashed over to the red-head and rocked it, chanting over and over, "It's alright, It's okay." And just like that, the child was calm again.

Sasori was looking down at the child who was staring back at him. They were having a staring contest. Sasori blinked. The child gurgled happily.

"What is all the noise for?!" Kazuku stormed in- he was probably interrupted while counting his precious money. His eyes grew wide at what was in the two member's arms. "Is- that... Are those?"

"They're babies, un!" Deidara grinned at the shocked face.

"Did you tell Sir Leader?"

"Well, no, un..." Deidara let his smile drop.

"I asked." Everyone in the room saw the oldest Uchiha leaning against the wall. "He said he didn't mind just as long as they didn't interfere with our missions. He wants to see them as well..."

"See them, un?" Deidara held the red-head closer to him, protectively.

"Yes." Itachi strode over to Deidara, taking the child out of his hands. He then walked over to Sasori and took the other child, one in each arm. And he left the room.

Deidara had waterfall tears streaming down his face, "Leader-sama will let them stay right, un?" Deidara clutched Sasori's cloak, looking up in hope.

Sasori just stared at his insane partner and shrugged. Kazuku was just plain confused. "Well, I don't mind them here." the money-obsessed man spoke. _'Just as long as they keep quiet, don't drool and stay away from me...'_

**TO LEADER-SAMA'S OFFICE!**

"Come in, Itachi." The Sharingan user pushed open the door and walked in with a child in each arm. Behind the desk was a big leather chair, and slowly, it turned revealing a smoky figure with piercing eyes. He rested his elbows on the desk and folded his hands, "I've been expecting you..." **(I.K.- cracks up sorry I couldn't help my self!!! moving on, moving on!!!!)**

Itachi resisted rolling his eyes and walked up to the desk in fluent, silent steps. "These are the children." With a rare gentleness, he placed the two on the leader's desk. The one to his left was sucking it's right thumb and held the Yang sign. The other was just staring, mouth agape. That one obtained the Yin sign.

Leader-sama nodded in what seemed like approval, "Yes... these two may be of use to us in the future. We shall keep them." Itachi wondered if Leader considered children as pets. "They are of the female race. **(I.K. - wtf man? What are we aliens?!?!)** This one-" He pointed to the one on his right-"will be called Yin. The other will be Yang, and you will address them as such."

**(I.K.- isn't leader-sama creative?)**

Itachi nodded. "I will inform the others." And that he did.

"YAY, UN!" Deidara twirled the red head child around giddily. The child gurgled and spoke in baby language, a small amount of drool falling from the side of it's (now her) mouth. "So you're Yin... Kawaii, un!!!" He hugged the child.

The other, now known as Yang, was fast asleep on the couch between Sasori and Hidan. Small slurping noised were heard as she sucked her thumb.

Kisame walked in to see Deidara flinging around the new child and the other sound asleep.. He sighed, at least they weren't crying.

Way to jinx yourself...

Just then Yin's face contorted in pain, blotches of red seeped through her skin as she began to grunt. Two seconds later, she relaxed and was back to normal.

A moment passed.

"Hey, uh... Kisame...?" Hidan spoke unsurely.

"What?" Fishy was kind of scared.

"I think Yin needs to be _changed_, un."

"No fucking way in hell."

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**I.K. -Sooooo... What do you guys think???? I know first chapter for me usually sucks but... oh!!! If you guys have any ideas on how to embarass the Akatsuki through parenthood please do tell! and if you have a story from when you were a baby that you think would be funny, please tell me so i can put it in here! We need some ideas for this story!!!! THANK YOU FOR READING!**


	2. Moving In

**Here's chapter number TWO! Yay! XD **

**AliceG: Hee hee, you're my first reviewer for this story! Tanks so much!  
itachiismyluver: Thanks a bunches! I'm trying to not make the Akatsuki members _too_ OOC but I don't think it's working so far! XP  
mary Ellen: Aw, thanks! Ha ha! that'll be in one of my later chapters for sure!  
And YOU! The ones that read and don't review!!!!!! thank you for reading my fanfic, though!**

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"_Never_. Again." Kisame gritted his dagger-like teeth. Why did it have to be him? What did he do wrong!? Well, he did kill a _few _people.. Uh..Never mind.

Kisame glared down at the baby, now happily cooing in his arms. Considering that the Akatsuki never had babies- or children, for that matter- the man had to improvise and make a diaper. But, the shark grinned, it wasn't his shirt the child was now using (after all, his shirts were WAY too big for just this tiny child) - it was the clay user's.

Chuckling a bit, Kisame placed the child - Yin, if he recalled correctly- upon his futon. He let out something between a growl and a sigh as he sat down next to her. Now what? The babies are now in the Akatsuki- but where will they stay? Kisame's eyes narrowed- he'd be damned if one of them were to stay in his room. He refused to have his room reek of barf and diapers.

The brown cloth that was originally around the child was soiled and was in his bathroom waiting to be cleaned. Though it was honestly not good enough to save, torn and rough- similar to sandpaper- it wasn't suitable for a baby to be wearing it. But where could they find clothes for babies without being seen? They're in the bingo book of nearly every country- and their cloaks were a dead give-away.

Kisame nearly slapped himself- henge. They could transform into some local villagers, get the stuff and leave without any commotion. What to babies like to eat? Kisame looked down at the now dozing child, dear kami-sama- what did the leader get them into?

* * *

On the other side of the cave, Yang shuffled and awoke from her nap. Big brown eyes met with icy lilac. **(I.K. - that is the color of Hidan's eyes right?)** Yang gave a toothless smile and gurgled, eyes shining up at the religious Akatsuki member.

Hidan just stared. His religion says to kill people, not to adopt them! What did the brat want him to do, anyways? Uncrossing his arms, Hidan reached over and poked the child's hand that reached for him. What? He's never dealt with a child before!

Yang blinked and stretched her arms out, still reaching for Hidan. Tears bubbled up, her bottom lip trembling. A small whimper escaped from her throat and Hidan began to panic. Whadid he do?!?

"She wants to be picked up." Sasori mumbled as he sat next in his same spot, flipping through the channels on their run-down T.V.

A pulsing vein mark adorned Hidan's head. "Well, then," he started, "why don't _**YOU**_ pick her up?!"

Glancing from the corner of his eye, Sasori calmly replied, "Well, I'm not the one whom she's looking at, am I?" And with that reply, he stood up and left for his room.

Hidan growled at the now empty door way where the puppet master once stood. Looking back down at the now crying Yang, he picked her up laying her head on his bony shoulder. Before he knew it, the tears stopped soaking his cloak- and all was quiet.

A gentle tug from around his neck made Hidan look down at the child. Yang held his beaded necklace that was of his religion in her chubby pink hand, staring at it. Hidan nearly shouted at the child to let it go, but then thought that if Yang was so interested in his religion, he could teach her about it as she grew up! A grin painted its way across his face- maybe having a child wouldn't be so bad after all... Looking back down, Hidan's eyes turned as big as saucers, Yang was gnawing on his precious symbol, drool beginning to cover it.

"Kyah!" Hidan automatically let go of the child in his rush to get it clean.

But, thankfully, someone else was there to catch the child before she reached her death. Or rather, something.

A giant clay spider caught the falling child upon it's back. The creature scurried over to it's master, standing by his feet.

Yang's eyes were wide open, tears brimming over her eye lids. The sudden fall had scared the girl out of her wits, all of her insides were topsy-turvy. A whimper escaped her closed lips, and a loud scream echoed throughout the hide out.

Hidan winced at the loud wail the child managed to produce. Holy cheese and Rye, the child was loud. Clamping both of his hands firmly upon his ears, Hidan attempted on drowning out the sound of the screaming child, but it was in vain. Growling, Hidan snapped at the child. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

Deidara went a menacing glare towards Hidan. "Well, she wouldn't be screaming if you didn't drop her, un!!!"

And the two continued to argue, Yang smothered against Deidara's chest.

Hearing louder, angrier shouts other than her own, Yang became frightened. Why were they yelling? It was scary. More tears cascaded down her face, the yelling and screaming hurt her ears.

Eyes screwed tight, Yang shook in fear. She wanted it to stop. It hurt her. Stop... stop... **STOP!!**

A sudden wave of energy pulsed from her bracelet upon her left wrist. Deidara stopped arguing and Hidan was knocked back from the sheer force of the energy. Both just stared at the, now whimpering, child. Did _that _come from _her_?

A little late, Kisame came in with Yin with him, "what's going on?"

Deidara shook his head and frowned. "Hidan dropped Yang, un! He almost killed her!" The blonde pointed an accusing finer at the man still upon the floor on the other side of the room. Looking from Deidara to Hidan, Kisame rolled his eyes. "She's alright, right?"

"Yeah, un." Deidara gently hugged the baby to him, softly apologizing to the young one.

"Deidara, Leader-sama want's you in his office." Kazuku stated, walking into the kitchen and grabbing an apple and knife. Slicing a piece out, he plopped it into his mouth.

"What for, un?" Deidara said, looking up from the sleeping Yang.

Kazuku shrugged and walked out of the kitchen, probably heading towards the living room to watch tv. ...What was his favorite show again... Ah, 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' , that's it.** (I.K. hahahaha sorry couldn't help myself... XD)**

Deidara frowned and stood up with Yang in his arms, sound asleep sucking on her thumb. Swiftly walking down the hallway, he stopped at his partner's door and knocked. But he didn't wait for the 'OK' and just barged in, a grin upon his face. "Sasoriii-dannnna! Couldja watch Yang for me?" Deidara chirped happily, handing over the sleeping baby. And without waiting for a reply, the clay master hopped out of the room.

Sasori glared at the spot where his oh-so-annoying partner once stood, and shook his head, his hand rising to rub his temple. What a headache... Looking down, Yang was still asleep, but her thumb fell out of her mouth. Well, might as well let her sleep... Laying her down on his futon, he covered her with the blanket and when back to his puppets.

Deidara stood up straight as he entered Leader-sama's office. Nothing showed on his face- only blankness (though it could've been mistaken for boredom). "Hai, Leader-sama?"

Peircing eyes stared at the blonde before him. "Deidara, I want you to go into the closet village and buy supplies for the new members. I trust you know what they need, so I'll let you go alone. You may, if you wish, bring someone to accompany you on this trip as an aid. That is all, be back in one hour."

Deidara bowed. "Hai." Doing an about-face, he walked out of the room, and began his mission.

* * *

Yin frowned and slowly opened her emerald eyes. Kisame was reading a scroll when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. "'Bout time you woke up..." he grumbled. Yin just stared up at him. A small gurgling sound was made and Yin began to whimper. Kisame groaned... What now? Looking out his sorry excuse for a window, he saw it was almost sunset.

Looking back at the squirming child, he picked her up. "Are you hungry?"

Yin just gave him a look that said 'I don't understand you, stupid.'

Kisame rolled his eyes and picked up the child, beginning his trek to the kitchen. He sat the child on his lap and decided to try and feed her a small piece of apple. Holding the very small piece between two large, blue fingers, he lifted it to the child's mouth and watched as she took it into her mouth.

Yin's face twisted as she tasted the sour juice of the apple. Kisame nearly felt like laughing ... nearly. Her tongue pushed the apple out of her mouth, and it fell on her lap. Ok... too sour. About to stand up and try another fruit, a giant freakin' centipede burst through the entry way, carrying all sorts of things on its back, from cribs, to bibs, to clothes. Then after the centipede turned the corner and started down the hallway, a young woman walked through the door carrying a bag of baby food, a cheerful smile on her face.

Long blonde hair flowed from her head, and she wore a black skirt and a baby blue tank top. Dancing over, she placed the bag upon the kitchen table and drew her hands together, forming a hand sign. And then... POOF!

There stood Deidara.

'_I knew he was gay...'_ Kisame thought, still staring at Deidara.

Just then, the puppet master came strolling in with an awake Yang, who was gurgling and playing with his mass of red-kissed sandy hair. Walking straight over to Kisame, he placed Yang in his lap, next to Yin and left, mumbling something around the lines of, "I'm going to fix their room."

Deidara blinked and then fixed two warm bottles of milk and a bowl each of mashed carrots. Let's just say the akatsuki members ended up with more food on them than what the babies ate... But then again, this is their first time taking care of infants... so I guess it would be considered a good start.

It took about 20 minutes to clean up the mess the happy girls made. Sasori came earlier and took the girls to their new room, settling them down into their own respective cribs.

The room was small, but it was only for two small infants, the walls where a light shade of peach and a shaggy, hunter green carpet coated the floor. Butterfly night lights were placed on every wall of the room, emitting a dim glow. A changing table was in the corner, and a closet was across the room from the cribs. All in all, it was a fitting place for the babies.

Sighing, Deidara, Kisame, Itachi and Hidan left the girls' room after making absolutely sure they were asleep. Kazuku already left as did Sasori claiming it was a waste of time.

Lucky lucky Kisame was two doors down from Yin and Yang's room and Itachi was across the hall from him.

Kisame stretched and flopped upon his futon, the futon itself squeaking from the sudden weight. Rolling over to his side, he sighed. He was already exhausted... and it was only the first day.. Great...

Kisame's eyes threatened to close as he was being carried into unconsciousness. Finally... peace and quiet.

"_**UWAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"**_

Kisame cringed. Spoke too soon.

Foot steps where heard as someone entered Yin and Yang's room, attempting on calming the noisy brats.

Covering his face with his pillow, Kisame mumbled, "Welcome home Akatsuki no Yin, Akatsuki no Yang." With that, he attempted to sleep.

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**Wheeee! Another chapter! XD I'm going to try and update every two weeks or so until school lets out, then it'll probably be every week... So click the pretty purple button and REVIEWWW!**


	3. Getting Aquainted

**Hola. ... please don't kill me... I know I promised to update each week, and here I am at the end of summer break updating. ... I am a procrastinator. I know. Sorry to all of those who've waited.**

**Thanks to, Rose Wyrm, shonenaigirl, BlazinCorporations, RemxiDemonEmpressOfHell, mary Ellen, itachiismyluver, solitarywitchneko, Hikari1994, icegoddess52, ShadowPriesstes for reviewing. THANKS A BUNCH!!!!!**

**Now, without further ado, Chapter 3!**

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"Ugh." Deidara yawned and sat up. Looking around, he noticed that he wasn't in his room. Hearing a small snort of sorts **(I.K.- HA! A RHYME)** Deidara looked down to his side and saw Yin curled up, fast asleep.

Deidara let a small smile grace his lips. So cute. Adorable even. Standing up, he jumped out of the crib where he stayed for the night. Yin kept on waking up and wailing every half hour or so either wanting food, a changed diaper, or just wanting to be held. Yang woke up three times during the night and Itachi took care of her. Speaking of Yang... where is she? Deidara walked up to the white crib and peered inside. Just a small brown teddy bear and a ruffled pink blanket was inside. Deidara picked up the bear and searched under it as if Yang was hiding under it. Then he did the same with the blanket. He shook it and flipped it over and over, but still no sign of the infant.

'_What if something bad happened? What if she's been kidnaped! Gasp!'_ Deidara flew out the door into the hallway to tell Sasori.

But a small cooing noise stopped him in his tracks. It came from Itachi's room. Tip toeing up to the door, Deidara pressed his ear against the wood and listened. Yup. There was definitely something cooing in there.

Silently, Deidara cracked open the door just so he could see into the room. There, on the bed, sat Itachi with Yang on his lap, facing him. Yang was cooing away, gripping his necklace in her small fisted hand. Deidara couldn't help but smirk when he saw the practically invisible smile on the Uchiha's pale face. Yeah, Itachi's Itachi and he never shows any emotion (except for annoyance) but deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep,_ deep_, _**deep **_down there somewhere- he knows how to smile. **(I.K.- APOCALYPSE! RUNNNN!)**

Deidara turned away from the door and walked back to the room where Yin still resided. As he grew closer he heard the small whimpering of the red-headed child.

Picking the girl up, he walked over to the changing table. Once he laid her down, he nearly skipped to the closet to pick out an outfit for Yin. Deidara rummaged through the closet deciding what she should wear. Then he realized that sooner or later, she'd get the outfit dirty somehow so he might as well pick out two.

Nodding in approval, Deidara waltzed back to the changing table to find Yin blowing bubbles with her mouth. Deidara squealed- but caught himself halfway through and changed Yin into a light green froggy dress complete with little green froggy socks.

"So cute, un!" Deidara grinned as he hugged the gurgling baby to him. "Let's go get some breakfast, un!"

The girls were just so cute! He was so happy that he could-

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Far far away, a lonesome figure walked down a hidden dirt path. He was a man... er- plant. Thing. Creature. ...Yeah...

Aaaanyways... the man walked down the path, gazing a head with his cold yellow eyes. His feet felt like lead, pounding into the hard earth again and again. Slowly, behind a thick mist, a waterfall came into his vision. Soon he would be able to lie down and sleep to make up for this mission. Yellow eyes scanned the sky as a white bird flew over head. Somehow, seeing that bird sent a little red flag to go up in the depths of Zetzu's mind. But he shrugged it off. He was nearly there-

_**BAM!**_

**..:[la de da dum:..**

-blow something up.

Grinning he clapped his hands together, getting rid of the imaginary dust. Deidara glanced down at Yin and chuckled. Green eyes were wide with surprise and her small mouth was agape.

Scooping the girl up into his arms, he went on his merry way back into the Akatsuki hideout. With a grin, he entered the so-called 'living room' and saw nearly a half a dozen eyes glaring holes into his frame.

"What, un?" Deidara cautiously slid around the group to the other side of the room. He suddenly felt like a slice of Swiss Cheese... glares can do that to you, ya know. A light bulb flashed over Deidara's head as he took notice that the infant he held was stiff as a board. He halted his trek to glance down at Yin.

Yin held the same facial expression as the one minutes before. Green eyes were bugging out of her head as her mouth was still in the small little 'O' shape.

Deidara stared. Wow. He balanced Yin in his left arm as he raised his right hand to her face and snapped.

She didn't blink

He snapped again. A single anime vein pulsed on his forehead. Pumping chakra into his hand he inhaled deeply and

_SNAP_-

**BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!**

And Deidara's room was no more...

"You need to control your temper." Sasori spoke with a small hint of annoyance in his smooth voice.

"What... _Temper_, un?" Deidara hissed through clenched teeth. He nearly bashed his head into the wall when Yin giggled at his contorted face.

"Ah, welcome home." Kisame greeted with his shark grin.

The whole room looked to where Kisame directed his comment. There, in the door way, stood a tall figure who easily reached past six feet. Black, toasted, and roasted stood Zetzu in all his charcoaled wonder. He coughed letting out a small ringlet of smoke.

Yin grinned toothlessly at this amazing trick. Reaching out, she clapped her chubby hands together as if saying, "Do it again!"

The eerie yellow eyes of Zetsu glanced over the two babies; one had just silently entered with Itachi while the other was clapping in Deidara's arms. "They're so adorable," Zetsu's calm and soft voice melted into a deep, almost cynical voice, "I could just _**eat **_them."

Deidara's mouth dropped shockingly as a horrified look flashed onto his face. **(I.K.- you know, when the eyes are big white circles and they're mouth drops past their waist snickers) **Clutching the girl to him, he pointed an accusing finger towards the venus fly trap. "You **MURDERER**!"

"This _is _a S-ranked criminal organization, Deidara." Sasori drawled out boredly.

Eye twitching in anger, Deidara turned towards the puppet master. "I know that, un!"

"It seemed that way..."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Of course not."

"It _**IS **_isn't it!?"

"It seems your 'art' has contaminated your way of thinking Deidara."

"My 'art' is true art!"

"You do not know the true meaning of art.."

"Art is a bang, un!"

"Art is everlasting."

And, well, I think you get the point...

The whole room sighed at the two artists arguing. This happened occasionally and it was getting more annoying by the second. Luckily, there was one who would be able to stop their arguing.

"Hello!" A boy appeared behind Zetzu, an orange mask upon his face. Black hair jetted from behind the swirling mask.

Deidara stopped to stare at the boy, eye twitching.

"May Tobi join the Akatsuki?" Little pink flowers appeared around Tobi's head as he clasped his hands in front of him, hoping to be accepted into the Akatsuki.

"NO, UN! NO, NO, NO, NO, **_NO_**!" Deidara yelled, blowing Tobi backwards.

"But-but!" Tobi sat up. "Tobi is a good boy!"

"And that's exactly why you can't join- we're EVIL, UN! **EEEEVILLLL**" Deidara swung his open arm around in circles, attempting at proving his point.

Yin, who was still in the clay master's hold, was being shaken up and down- very fast, I might add. Yin frowned as her stomach began to squeeze and churn with every second that past. A stinging, burning liquid bubbled up her throat.

"BLEK!"

"Ew." Kisame twitched backing away from the blonde.

"Heh- That sucks." Hidan said smirking as he exited the room. A chuckle was heard coming from the direction of the silver-haired immortal.

Deidara stood there, in shock and covered in Yin's breakfast. Wonderful. Yin's eyes bubbled over in tears because of the stinging sensation in her throat.

Sasori sighed and stood up. "You'll need to clean this up, Deidara." The redhead said without so much of a glance over his shoulder.

Deidara just glared as the members filed out of the room, not wanting to clean up the mess._ 'Hm. I guess I was right when I thought she'd need another outfit today..._' Deidara thought, holding Yin out at arms length. _'But I didn't want __**me **__to get all... nasty too!_'

Tobi, who was the only one in the room besides Deidara and Yin, swiftly grabbed Yin from Deidara's arms and danced to his room, yelling behind him, "I'll give her a bath, Deidara-sempai, you go and clean yourself up!"

Deidara grumbled and sulked all the way to his room.

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Kakuzu stared into big, chocolate eyes and wondered how the hell he ended up with a child. He didn't even remember picking her up. That Uchiha must have used his freaky eyes or something.

Damn that Uchiha.

Kakuzu glanced around his room for a place to put the child down so he can get back to counting his money. His precious, lovely, shiny money.

So, without contemplating the idea very much, he placed the child on the rug near his bed. The steal springs of the bed squeaked as he sat down upon the simple bed. Now... where was he? Ah, yes..._'2367400 yen... 2367450 yen...'_

Yang, who was straining her neck to look at the man who sat himself upon the bed, grunted as she tried to move. Stuck on a dirty old rug wasn't very comfy. A shine caught her curious eyes from under the depths of the squeaky bed. She willed her arm to stretch towards the circular golden object. Chubby fingertips brushed against the cold metal, but she could not grasp it. Yang's face contorted in a pouting frown as she desperately reached for the coin. A whimper escaped her throat as she grew frustrated.

But Kakuzu was lost in his own little world and dismissed the child's whining.

After a few grunts and shiftings, Yang victoriously held the 5 yen coin in her hand. Now- she needed to celebrate. And she was going to do what all babies do when celebrating... sticking the object of victory into her mouth.** (I.K.-Ah, just like kids, sticking everything and anything they can find into their mouths...)**

The cold metal felt good against her teething gums. And she gnawed happily away, emitting jovial giggles every so often.

The money-obsessed man grew curious of how the child... ah, what was her name again? Yen? Uh, no.. it was _Yang_... stopped whining and was now giggling. Peering over the edge of his bed, Kakuzu nearly fell off as he saw his precious coin bathed in the drool belonging to the little girl.

Quickly he snatched the coin from the baby and desperately attempted to wipe the slimy substance of the coin by rubbing the coin on the girl's bib. Hey, that's what it's for right?! Kakuzu sighed, relieved that his precious coin had no more baby drool on it.

Brown-eyed Yang blinked as she looked around for her chew toy.** (I.K.- jeez, I'm making her sound like a dog... -****-') **One second, it was happily in her mouth, and the next, it's gone. What's with that? And now her bib was all wet. Upset, tears bubbled up and her chin quivered. She clenched her fists, and wailed aloud at the top of her lungs.

Kakuzu flailed as the screeching sound blew him from his concentration, sending the pile of yen he was counting flying into the air. Kakuzu nearly pouted at this and cursed. "Fuck."

Casting a glare down to the floor to the demon who caused all of this, Kakuzu reached down and none-to-gently pulled the child into his lap. Yang continued to wail, face red and fists clenched. Kakuzu clucked his tongue turning the baby around in his arms. "Where's the freakin' "Off" switch?"

The money man pulled the child so they were face to face. Yang's screams reduced to hiccups and the tears began to dry. She unclenched one hand and reached for the cloth covering his face, grasping it in her hand.

"Oi. Let go."

She just hiccuped.

"Che." Kakuzu looked closely at the girl who was now sucking her thumb. "You're not cute at all. I don't see why Deidara makes a fuss about you all the time." Standing up, and relieved that she stopped sobbing, Kakuzu left his room and headed to his annoying partner's.

Without even knocking, Kakuzu barged in to Hidan's room finding the latter sharpening his 3 bladed scythe.

"What?"

Kakuzu pushed the infant into the man's arms. "Tag. You're it." Kakuzu reached the doorway and looked back to find the annoying child staring at him with her brown eyes. He shut the door and started back to his room. "Tsk. Not cute at all."

**..:[la de da dum:..**

"Uwah! Bath time! Well, this really isn't your bath time considering it's a little past noon." Tobi mumbled as he filled the tub with lukewarm water. Yin gurgled from her place on Tobi's bed. Two pillows on either side caged her in so she wouldn't fall off the bed.

"Yosh!" Tobi chirped as he shut off the water. Clad in his bathing suit (which was orange with little blue tropical flowers) he undressed Yin and jumped into the bathtub, causing the water to overflow on to the bathroom floor.

Yin squirmed happy to be out of the dirty, smelly clothes but who was this guy? And why'd he have a weird face?

Tobi held Yin with one hand as he reached for the wash rag. Lathering the cloth with soap, he scrubbed Yin clean, which was rather difficult considering she kept squirming. Soap bubbles floated on the surface of the water, catching Yin's attention. Tobi lowered her down into the water, only leaving her shoulders and head above the water. Yin suddenly jerked, splashing soapy water everywhere. She coughed, accidentally inhaling the water.

Yin was sent into a coughing fit, worrying Tobi. "Ah... what's wrong? Ne, ne, did Yin swallow the water?" Tobi pat Yin's back gently but with enough force to actually cure the coughing. "Saa. Much better!"

So for dozens of minutes they played in the tub, gurgling and laughing the whole way. Tobi was now softly tossing Yin into the air and catching her as soon as she splashed into the water, with Yin squealing giddily the whole time.

The opening of the door startled the two and they both looked to see who it was. Kisame stood there, eyes wide, staring at the boy in the tub with a 'WTF?' look on his face.

"Kisame-senpai! Would you like to join us?" Tobi chirped.

"...No."

Tobi seemed to pout. "But, why not?"

Kisame gave Tobi a 'Are you serious?' look, raising an eyebrow... **(I.K.- does he even **_**have **_**eyebrows???) **But Tobi being Tobi, was completely ignorant and just waited for a reply. "Because..." the Shark man stopped before he fully closed the door. "You should get out soon, or Yin might catch a cold." And with that, he was gone.

"Hmm.. Well, I guess he's right. Time to get out Yin-chan!" Tobi grabbed a towel from the floor, which was slightly damp from all the splashing and wrapped Yin tightly into a bundle. He gently laid the child on the soft cushion of the toilet seat and stood up himself. Tobi jumped out of the tub right into a small -seemingly innocent- puddle of soapy water. And before he knew it, his foot slipped from under him and he fell smack down on his back. "Itaiiiii..." He moaned, clutching his head.

Yin just stared, amused at the boy on the wet tiled floor.

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Hidan stared at the child. And Yang stared back. Both were unblinking. It has been 3 whole **minutes **since Kakuzu dumped this burden on him and it already annoyed him. Standing up, Hidan walked out the very same door that brought this child to him.

He came to a stop in front of an ajar door. If he remembered correctly.. This was the plant dude's room. Peering into the room, he noticed no one was there and tip-toed over to the bed. Carnivorous plants surrounded the room, covering the ceiling, the walls and some of the floor. Hidan was surprised that the bed wasn't an actual flowerpot like he thought.

"What are you doing?"

Hidan spun around, just in time to see Zetsu himself emerge from the wall. What. The. Fuck.

Recovering, he motioned to the baby girl on Zetsu's bed. "It's your turn."

"But if I recall correctly, Kakuzu gave you that child a mere... 4 minutes ago..." Zetsu calmly stated, unblinking.

'_The hell? I have a stalker?'_ Hidan backed away from the giant walking venus fly trap and walked towards the door. Diving out of the room, he shut the door.

He stopped after a few steps and pondered._ 'Was it a good thing to leave a child with a man who eats humans?' ... 'Should I feel bad about this?_' ... "Nah."

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Tobi skipped merrily down the boring halls of the Akatsuki hideout. Yin, who was still wrapped up in a towel, stared at the orange mask Tobi bore. It was swirly. It went round and round and round and round and round and round... Swirly eyes replaced her regular emerald ones as the girl followed the black lines on Tobi's mask.

Tobi halted before a door. A wooden sign was hung around the doorknob fastened with a string of yarn.

On it was, 'Do NOT disturb. Working.' Tobi stared at the sign, a finger placed on his chin in deep thought.

**BAM!**

"SASORI-SENPAI! IT'S YOUR TURN!!!!" Tobi barged into the room, startling both Yin and the puppet master.

Sasori gritted his teeth, attempting on remaining calm. "Did you not see the sign?"

"Uh, no. Tobi saw it! And read it too!" Tobi beamed. Or at least... Sasori thought he did, he sounded happy- but one could never tell with that mask of his.

But before Sasori could respond, a wet bundle was placed on his lap. "Have fun!" Then Tobi skipped out the door, closing it behind him with a bang.

'_And he couldn't have dressed her because?'_ Sasori stared down, indifferent at the child as it stared up at him with wide eyes. Yin blinked and her nose scrunched up letting out a high 'achoo' a second later. Her body jerked with the sneeze and nearly threw her off of Sasori's lap.

With one hand, Sasori lifted her to his chest and he walked down the hall to the twin's room to find some clothes. Meanwhile thinking of how to murder Tobi for destroying his concentration, which nearly demolished his new weapon.

Randomly choosing a shirt, a pair of pants and socks, he dressed the child and almost lost his patience when she kept squirming away. Looking at the final result, Sasori snorted out of amusement. She wore an outfit consisting of a : red and orange leotard under a pair of red pants and two different colored orange socks. Must have been when Deidara did the laundry. He always did screw up the wash by adding too much bleach. His white boxers magically turned pink once- all thanks to Deidara...

Picking Yin back up, the puppet master noted how much Yin looked like a tomato. Her fiery red hair only added to that idea. Heh. Little Tomato-chan.

Sasori walked back to his room and sat her down on the bed. Maybe if the child was quiet, he could actually get some work done.

A shrill cry shattered the comfortable silence seconds after he sat at his desk.

Spoke too soon.

Sasori sent the wailing girl a sharp glare. What could it _**possibly **_be now? Shuffling over to the shrieking ball of flesh, Sasori roughly picked her up and held her to him. Within a few moments, she stopped completely. Sasori's right eye twitched.

He gently placed her down and began to walk back to his desk.

Yin cried out again.

He walked back to her and held her till she stopped.

He placed her down. And walked about... 2 feet.

She wailed.

Throwing his arms up in exasperated defeat, Sasori picked her up and took her to the desk with him.

This time, Yin did not cry. Instead, she giggled.

Sasori's right eye twitched once again.

All was quiet in the puppet master's room, besides the random gurgles and giggles of the little girl. Currently, she has happily gnawing on Sasori's pen as he updated a hand on one of his many puppets.

He took the pen from her mouth and frowned as he found it was coated in drool. He slapped his hand to his forehead, ugh. This was going to be a loooong day... Sasori frowned even more once he notice that he kept the pen in his hand and now he has baby's drool all over his forehead. _Wonderful_. Simply wonderful...

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Zetsu sat in silence as Yang slept merrily in a crib of vines that Zetsu made from the plants that hung from the ceiling.

Lying down on his back, Zetsu let his mind wander as his two personalities argued in his mind.

"Eat the child. It could be a wonderfull snack."

"No."

"But why not?"

"Because. Leader-sama wanted to keep them for a reason."

And this went on and on. Though, Zetsu didn't notice he was speaking aloud the whole time, and woke up Yang. Her brown eyes wandered around the green house-like room as she sucked her thumb. Chocolate eyes slowed and stopped once they hit Zetsu. **(I.K.- What's black and white and green all over? ZETSU! hahaha.. ... okay I'll stop sheesh... )**

Zetsu finally realized he had an audience and stared at the child who was resting in the vines of his plant. Golden yellow eyes stared at the infant. He blinked. Yang blinked.

Yang then stretched and yawned, making her eyes squeeze together. Zetsu blinked and the ends of his lips twitched upwards. Alright. He'll admit it. They were cute.

Zetsu shifted into a sitting position and reached over and held Yang in his arms. A small fist gripped one of the spikes that belonged to the venus fly trap that surrounded Zetsu. Gurgles erupted from the child's throat. The black and white man thought that maybe... just maybe having these children here would be fun.

**..:[la de da dum:..**

Kisame chucked the remote at the TV in the Akatsuki living room of doom. He was bored. There's nothing- absolutely NOTHING to _do _around here..Gyah... bored.

Hoisting himself up from the couch that was God-knows how old, he strolled down the hallway. A few feet away, he saw Sasori emerge from his own room, Yin (who looked like a little ball of fire in her outfit) in his arms. Yin was giggling and Sasori held a small smile.

Kisame grinned his shark-like grin. No one can resist the cuteness. NO ONE!

"Oi." Sasori's head snapped up at the voice, his face falling into bored facade with his half open, half closed eyes.

"Kisame."

"Yo." Said-sharkman waved. "You need me to take that off your hands?" He pointed to the little bundle of fire in Sasori's arms. Kisame realized that Sasori and Yin both had red hair. The only ones in the Akatsuki.

Sasori stayed silent and hesitated before handing the child over to Kisame. Then he retreated back into his room.

Kisame raised an eyebrow at Yin's mis-matched socks. Must have been Deidara...

Deidara sneezed. This was the 3rd time today... must be coming down with a cold or something... The blond sat in his room, folding clothes that belonged to the girls. Funny.. He didn't remember buying light pink socks... He shrugged.

The blue-skinned man sat on his futon, his legs drawn up and let Yin rest against his thighs. Yin's emerald eyes stared up at Kisame as he put his dear Sameheda on the floor. Kisame looked back at the girl and raised one hand.

_Poke._

Yin squirmed, frowning. Kisame chucked at the reaction. He poked her stomach again only to get the same reaction. The girls face twisted in anger as he tried to poke her again.

No!

As Kisame tried to poke Yin for a third time, his finger rammed into an invisible wall. He blinked, rubbing his sore didget. WTF, mates?

Gently reaching towards the girl, his hand rested upon a shield that rippled at the touch- kind of like water.

His eyes widened. Well, that was surprising... Definitely not expected..

He tried once again, but the shield was no longer there and he was able to reach her this time. Two small hands held Kisame's large blue one. It was a picture perfect moment- nothing could ruin it.

Well... something could...

Kisame's nose twitched as he smelt something horrible. It nearly made his eyes water. His eyes glanced towards the baby. Ah hell- why was it always _**him**_!?!

At least they have diapers now. Kisame grumbled as he rushed to the twins room to change Yin. It's been practically a week now and it's **ALWAYS **him!

Kisame nearly spazzed as he threw away the diaper. Nasty. Disgusting. Ew.

Picking up the now giggling Yin, he grinned. It's impossible to stay mad at them. He hugged the girl close to him, rubbing his cheek to hers. They were just too cute.

"Ah, Kisame?"

Kisame snapped away from Yin, holding her at an arms reach. He wasn't hugging Yin. Pffffft. Yeah right.

"Leader-sama wants to talk to us." Deidara stared as he dropped the neatly folded clothes on the changing table.

"Hm." He held Yin to him as they walked to the double doors that led to Leader's office.

"Come in, Deidara, Kisame." a voice called from inside. Deidara and Kisame entered, Yin still in Kisame's arms. The two Akatsuki members stood stiff and still as Leader-sama stared up from his spider solitaire on his computer.

Leader-sama clicked and dragged a 4 to a 5. Letting go of his mouse, Leader-sama gave them their mission.

"You two will go into the village to buy more baby supplies-"

What Kisame didn't know was that the next sentence would scar him for life...

"As a couple."

Oh yeah. He's scarred.

* * *

There you have it. Chapter number THREE! yeah. And sorry again about not updating sooner...

I give you guys permission to threaten me if i don't update by... hm... September 3rd. tee hee.

But when you message me- it gives me inspiration, and a reason to write!!! So click the button!! now!


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